Here are some tips to allow you to enjoy your summer fling but not get yourself into trouble.
1. Play Safe - I hate that I still have to even mention this. I would think by now our community would be playing safe but this is not the case. Just because he tells you he is clean, or his last test was 3 weeks ago, does not mean you should trust him. Make sure you make the right decision.
2. Explain the Plan - Nothing can ruin a hook up more then asking a hot guy with a hard on over and then making him watch Mamma Mia and cuddle first. Make sure you explain the plan ahead of time. Are you just hooking up? Are you going to hang out before? Can they spend the night or not? Just be clear. This will save you from awkwardness or confused expectations.
3. Recent Photos - As it is 2009, a lot of people are hooking up online. Having recent photos are going to guarantee the hook up goes per plan. You wouldn't like a guy to show up at your door looking nothing like his photo. Neither does your hook up. I hate to say it but not having a photo is not an excuse anymore. We all have access to some way of taking a recent photo. If you do not have a recent photo, there is always a reason why...
4. Age is YOUR age - Just because YOU think you look 28 doesn't mean you are. You are actually 33 and you need to say it. A friend of mine posts his age as 28. He is 30 soon to be 31. He tells guys when he gets called on it that the system didn't update his age. Really? On all 4 of your different profiles on different systems? That is amazing! People have a right not to want you for whatever reason just like you do the same. No one wants to be lied to. Just be honest. If someone thinks you are too old, they miss out on a great opportunity. It is their loss. If you need to lie to guys to hook up, you need to take a hard look at yourself because you have bigger problems than getting laid.
5. "I'll Call You" - How many times do guys say this or how many times have you said it and did not mean it? Save yourself the trouble. It is what it is. Do not make promises you are not going to keep. You had a good time. That was all it was. If you want to call, then ask for their number or, better yet, give them yours. It comes down to being honest. You save so much time and hurt feelings if you are just honest.
6. Be Respectful - You are both consenting adults and you have a plan to have a good time. Be respectful of each other during this time. If they do not like something, stop. Don't pressure them into doing anything they don't want to. Also be respectful of their discretion. You do not want to walk the walk of shame and they surely don't want to hear over brunch what you said about them to everyone in town.
7. Have Fun - That is exactly what hooking up is all about. Just two guys having a safe fun time. It is to allow you to enjoy life and enjoy the experience. This is not going to change your life. It is just a summer fling to spice up your life. HAVE FUN!
I receive tons of emails on hooking up. Is it OK? Should I hook up? Should I not hook up? I am not saying if hooking up is good or bad. I am just letting you know how to make it work if you do decide to hook up.
Hooking up doesn't mean it will lead to love or even a friend. Hooking up doesn't make you are a slut. Hooking up isn't for everyone but it is a choice each of you will make on your own.
I hope you chose what works best for you, your life and your goals. I also hope you don't judge others about hooking up. We each need to live our own lives and keep our noses out of others.
(Photo: Getty Images)
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